Please bear with me as I vent on a topic that has been in the news lately and that we have been talking about a lot here at the office: the Vatican’s reprimand of American nuns for not conforming to the guidelines of the Catholic Church.

Recently the Pope rode in his  “popemobile”—it looks like an aquarium on wheels—down the streets of various Latin American countries. Tens of thousands of people struggled to get a glimpse of His Holiness, the supreme pontiff and bishop of Rome, the man who exercises moral, doctrinal and jurisdictional authority over all the faithful. I am not Catholic, and maybe that’s why I am so baffled by the constant and bizarre obsession with women’s wombs by celibate men in robes—not to mention the sex abuse scandals that the bishops have worked hard to cover up. No wonder so many American nuns have rebelled.

As a result, however, these brave women have been scolded by the Vatican for not standing against birth control, for accepting gays as they accept every other member of the human race, and for refusing to be discriminated against. They believe that women are equal to men and that therefore they should be able to perform as priests and be part of the hierarchy of the Church.

(Maybe I just don’t get it.  But then again I pray to redwood trees….)

This is me, actually praying to trees!

Recently Isabel asked a couple of Dominican sisters why would they belong to an institution that puts them down and doesn’t represent their values. They answered that the bishops and the Pope are not the only Church. “We are the Church,” they said. “Each Catholic who tries to follow Christ’s teachings is the Church.”

Okay, my little rant is done and I will get to my main point. Throughout the past few years I have met several Catholic sisters and let me tell you, they are the bomb! I love the sisters. So why then is the Vatican giving them grief?

Below is a synopsis of a recent column written by Nicholas Kristof of The New York Times, as reported in the May 11 issue of The Week:

“Nuns rock,” said Nicholas Kristof. The female clergy of the Catholic Church are “among the bravest, toughest, and most admirable people in the world,” truly embodying the teachings of Christ in their selfless work with the young, the poor, and the sick. Yet the Vatican recently delivered a stinging rebuke to American nuns, chastising them for focusing on poverty and social justice, rather than joining the male hierarchy’s obsession with abortion and gay marriage. “What Bible did that come from?” Jesus commanded his followers to feed the poor and embrace the outcast; he said not a word about homosexuality or abortion. Who is more Christ-like: the pampered pope in his white silk cassock and red Prada slippers, or the nun working the line in a ghetto soup kitchen? Nuns are tough, too. In my world travels, I’ve seen heroic nuns face down warlords, pimps, and bandits. One nun, Sister Rachele Fassera, even shamed 200 armed soldiers of African warlord Joseph Kony’s army into releasing a group of kidnapped girls. “So Pope Benedict, all I can say is: You are crazy to mess with nuns.”

Well said! And since I’m in a quoting mood today, I’ll give the last word to Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens, 1835-1901): “The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”

I recently drove Isabel down to Stanford University to have lunch with Kavita Ramdas, the former head of the Global Fund for Women, and Ximena Ampuero, who is the daughter of a good friend of Isabel’s. On the way I was so distracted by stories of Isabel’s crazy tribe that I almost ran over a deer, but Isabel didn’t flinch. She is the worst driver in the history of motorcars; she has had 36 car accidents, so I assume she has experience hitting wild game on the freeway.

The four women in front of "Monument to Change as a Verb"

Ximena is in her third year at Stanford, studying something far too complicated for my feeble brain to comprehend, and Isabel thought that Kavita could be a good connection for this bright young woman. Kavita—whose blog we link to and follow—would indeed be a “connection” for just about anybody on this planet. Although she is currently taking a “break” from her work at the Global Fund for Women, the largest NGO in the world focused on women’s issues, Kavita is teaching a course at Stanford about activism and leadership. As we sat in the sunny Stanford courtyard, enjoying chicken and the best spicy hot chocolate in California, one of Kavita’s activist colleagues meandered by and we got to meet her as well, a Bosnian woman named Taida Horozovic, whose experiences in the war in her country is changing students’ perspective on the world. The lunch on the beautiful Stanford campus was inspiring, and it got me thinking about activism in new ways. I recently read an article about Julia Butterfly Hill that sparked a streak of activism in my heart; here is a link to the article in the Sun. Here is a link with video about the art the women are standing in front of, it is a great installation, huge and illuminated, I was happy I could take the photo with all of them just as the whole piece lit up!

P.S. Here’s a great book I was reminded of upon meeting Taida. How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone, by Sasa Stanisic, is a tale of a boy’s experiences before and during the war in Bosnia. Just thought to mention it, since it is quite stunningly written.

Also, we wanted to reserve a little space at the bottom of each blog for a quote that somehow makes its way into our setting. Here is one that we all liked this week:

“Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?” by David Bader

So it sounds like the gala was pretty fun…As fun as a gala can be, anyway.

I think the highlight of the Washington, D.C. trip was meeting Wilhelmina Cole Holladay. Here is what Isabel had to say about her:

Billy, as they call this extraordinary lady, and her husband Wally, founded the Museum of Women in the Arts 25 years ago.  They had noticed that no women artists were included in art history classes or art books, and very few were represented in museums, so they started buying paintings by women, mainly in Europe.  They gathered an impressive collection and they wanted to share it with other art lovers, so they bought the old building of the Masonic Temple, abandoned and in ruins, and remodeled it with Turkish marble and Venetian crystal lamps.  It is the perfect setting for their impressive collection, beautiful and spacious, full of light and soft spirits. 

Billy invited Willie and me to her elegant home in Washington and entertained us with memories, anecdotes and stories of her most cherished paintings, which we enjoyed over delicious cups of Marco Polo Tea (from the Paris-based shop Mariage Frères, founded in 1854) and chocolates. Willie fell in love with her. I had to drag him out of her house after a couple of hours of conversation and innumerable cups of tea. When Billy said that she enjoyed reading mysteries, Willie imposed on her all his books. I want to be like her when I grow up!

The gala and the award ceremony (Isabel received the museum’s Award for Excellence) were held in the Museum of Women in the Arts, and Isabel reports that the setting was spectacular: crystal, porcelain, silver, pyramids of roses, and pink lights that made everybody look good.

Willie wore his 30-year-old tuxedo that—yes—still fits him. Isabel wore a gown by Lea, a local (San Anselmo) designer.

Other news from the trip:  Marie Arana, a well-known journalist and writer, interviewed Isabel at the Chilean Embassy, in an event that was open to the public.

Bonus: Here’s a little gossip. The whole group, Isabel, Willie and Lori, went to a cocktail party at the home of Bonnie McElveen-Hunter, chairman of the American Red Cross, who encouraged her guests to roam her beautifully decorated house. (Among other amazing art, she has a painting by Marie Cassatt and a sculpture by Botero.) The hostess mentioned her closet, so Isabel and Lori ran upstairs to take a look.  It was an Isabel dream and a Mother Teresa nightmare: hundreds of exquisite shoes; evening gowns; dresses of silk, velvet and brocade; cashmere sweaters in every color; etc.

P.S. How did it go with Olivia? I will tell you, she was a wreck. She lay curled up in a fetal position on her little blanket nearly the WHOLE time. Unless we were out on a walk, there she was on her blanket. Towards the end, however, she perked up and got a bit more comfortable, and on the last day she was so playful and goofy I hardly recognized her. She kept sneaking up behind me at the office and bumping me with her snout and licking my elbows. When she heard the door open and Isabel came in, she ran down a flight of wooden stairs that previously she would have only crept down at a painfully slow speed. I wish I had taken a photo of her being reunited with her true love—it was monumentally and simultaneously both pathetic and beautiful.

It is almost time for Olivia to come over to our house for a long weekend. Last time Isabel and Willie went away, she sat by the front door looking worried. Eventually I realized she had not had any water, so I gave her a dish and she drank it down. I will be ready for her this time. Her soft blanket that Isabel always packs for her will be folded into a little bed by the door and a dish will be there at the ready. Isabel was at the office this morning with Olivia, who already was looking worried. (More on that later.)

I was horribly late to the group meeting with the therapist who was helping integrate me into the perfectly harmonious setting of our office. I was late—ironically—because I was terrified that this was yet another Marin County cult. Yes, I kept Isabel Allende WAITING! I can’t believe I still have my job. We had to bring photos of ourselves when we were babies. I mean, what kind of an office—that is not affiliated with a cult—asks for that kind of thing? (Isabel won’t let me show the photo she brought of herself but you can go to the Isabel Allende website and see similar ones on her timeline.) The idea is that when we talk to each other we should envision the child in the other person. Go figure! Psychological mumbo jumbo, if you ask me….As for my job, I figure that it is too hard to find a dog sitter at this late date, so they will hold on to me for at least another week…

my baby picture...

I took these photos on the sly with my phone so they are blurry and not so good, but they show how Olivia interrupted the meeting by jumping on Isabel and giving her a look that can only be described as pathetic. Apparently she has seen the luggage and knows there is no hope for her now. Poor Olivia. We’ll do the best we can for her. Fortunately, my father is living with us for a while and Olivia seems to have a strange past-life love affair going on with him, so I am hoping they will rekindle their affair and stay together. It could work.

Olivia seeking attention

still trying...

Next week, look for photos from the Washington, D.C., gala and an update on the travelers’ adventures.

P.S.  One last little story about Olivia. She got in a dogfight at the park last week. She probably started it; she is kind of a bitch. Isabel tried to intervene but slipped in the mud and landed face down on the dogs. She had deep cuts on her hands and 10 days later she still can’t move her left arm, but Olivia was unharmed and Isabel can type with her right hand. The work on the novel will continue, at least. Olivia better be good for me, since I am NOT going to throw myself on her and try to save her. She will just have to fight it out.

Isabel is headed to Washington, D.C. at the end of the month, where the National Museum of Women in the Arts will honor her with its Award for Excellence. And here’s the really fun part: Isabel will receive the award on April 27 at the museum’s 25th anniversary gala.

A gala! You have to wear fancy clothes to that kind of party.  I, of course, am already wondering what Isabel will wear, but she isn’t talking. She pretends that she hasn’t even thought about it yet. Yeah, sure!  She must be worried sick about her dress. I fear it might be a Cinderella gown with lots of shiny jewelry.  Lori is accompanying her, so I will tell her to take a photo.

I am really excited about the National Museum of Women in the Arts because, years ago, when I was in art school I always wondered why the art (not the extra-curricular activities) was so male-oriented.  I mean, a professor would show slide after slide of paintings, prints, sculptures, etc., all done by men, so whenever a piece by a woman popped up on the screen I would perk up and take note.  That happened once or twice a year, at the most.  Then I learned about the Guerrilla Girls and the National Museum of Women in the Arts, both of which have been around for about 25 years now. Here is a link to the museum, as well as a great link to a recent Huffington Post article about the Guerrilla Girls.

Isabel and Willie (in tux) at Lori and Nico's wedding in 1999

Willie is going to Washington, too. (He looks smashing in a tuxedo he bought 25 years ago when he and Isabel got married.  It still fits him perfectly.) That means I get Olivia for the long weekend, since not only are they attending the gala, but there are other things to take care of as well, like tea with the co-founder of the museum, a marvelous 89-year-old visionary named Wilhelmina Cole Holladay. There is also dinner with the Chilean ambassador and a conversation onstage with Maria Arana, a renowned Washington, D.C. journalist.

Some of us get to go to the fancy gala whilst others are left at home with the dogs.  At least Olivia smells good, which is more that I can say for my two boys right now. Dogs!

I would ask Willie to take a few pictures of her, too but if he uses his phallic lens we will see just her eyelashes, like the tiger’s eyeballs he photographed in India.

Not to worry. Whatever photos of the gala I do get, I won’t forget to post them!

Willie is freshly back from the wilds of northern India and the forested mountains of Nepal. He went with his stepson, Jason, and Isabel’s son, Nico. I wanted to ask him some questions about the trip for the blog; otherwise it would just be more of the same banter about how very grumpy Isabel is, and no one wants to read that! I do have one little Isabel update, though. If you are in Berkeley, near the UC campus, this Thursday, April 12, come see her read at the Morrison Library from 6 to 7 pm. Click here for more information and directions.

so ummmm, Nico actually took this photo.....

And, here is the transcript of my interview with Willie. I love him!

Q. Why did you go on this trip?

A.  I wanted to take a photo of a tiger and maybe a leopard. I actually have a photo of a leopard that I took in Zimbabwe years ago but Isabel won’t let me put it on my website because I took it in William Holden’s zoo and photoshopping the background would be cheating.  She’s rigid about that kind of thing…The only other leopard I ever saw was at night in Africa and the picture is so blurry that it would be embarrassing to show it.

Q. Did you experience any moments of “enlightenment”?

A. Interesting question. Until you asked, I hadn’t thought much about it. A lot of internal things happened to me on this trip. It was rough!  I learned that I am finished with that rigorous kind of travel. I will stop looking for excitement in external things and turn inward. I have been headed that way anyway in the last few years, ever since I started writing. Maybe this trip was not about the tiger at all. Isabel says that I needed to prove that I was physically capable of withstanding the rigors of the trip, but that is HER moment of enlightenment more than mine.

Q. What was your favorite part of the trip?

A. The people. Nico, Jason and I have always been good friends, but we bonded even more on the trip. Brian Weirum, the tour director, is a committed advocate for saving the tiger, and he and the rest of the group were charming and very sharp, a delight to be with.

Q. Did you get what you wanted?

A. I got 20 blurred photos of a tiger’s eye because my lens was too big. (Isabel calls it my phallic complex lens.)  My mistake. Everybody warned me that I shouldn’t take the stupid lens because it needs a tripod and how are you going to use a tripod on an elephant!  But I got other things, like a few insights about myself, and I wrote 35 pages of my new novel.

Q. Did riding on the elephants cause chafing?

A. No, just a lot of bumping. We spent hours on the elephants. I thought my brain was getting loose.

Q. Do you have a spirit animal? If so, what is it?

A. Yes, I think so. My spirit animal is the stallion. The stallion is strong, independent, enduring and very loyal to those he is connected to.

Q. How many tigers would you say you saw?

A. There were plenty of tigers and, fortunately, Nico, Jason and Brian got good shots and they shared them with me.

Q. Were they burning brightly?

A. Not really. One tiger I saw had just eaten a cow and was sleeping. He looked as mellow as Olivia.

Q. Do you have a bucket list?

A. I don’t have what is commonly known as a bucket list. I’ve always been a wanderer and have gone most places I wanted to go. I will have to see if taking a peek inside myself reveals a bucket of something.

Q. What other trips/ animals/adventures are you dreaming of?

A. No more. That’s it for me, other than doing some things with Isabel that we have been talking about, and traveling to areas of the U.S. where there are Spanish-speaking audiences so I can talk about my books in English and Spanish. I am a shameless self-promoter.

Q. Who’s your favorite hero? Or literary icon, maybe. I don’t know…What I mean is, who is your Idol? Real or imagined.

A. My favorite hero in literature has always been The Dragon Slayer in The Faerie Queene by Edmond Spencer. I’m also hooked on the great wandering storytellers of the past like Chaucer, and my father, who I followed around as a young boy on his journey of storytelling around the Southwest. I have to add that Isabel is my literary mentor or she will kill me.

Last question:

Q. Does Isabel like tigers too? Or is this just your thing??

A. She is only interested in animals she can pet or eat. I love their beauty and their strength but I am not so sure you can put me in the camp of being a tiger lover.

Earlier today I had to call Isabel…AT HER HOUSE! I was really scared because lately I have been hearing horror stories of how she has been so terribly grumpy. You see, she is writing like a madwoman just now. She’s in the thick of things and acting rather like a fierce dragon. Even Olivia is afraid of her! Willie comes to the office in tears and we console him as best as we can, but the man is really beaten down, poor guy.

Willie, by the way, is just back from a great tiger adventure in India. I hope to interview him about it for next week, so check back for more on his trip, complete with photos!

Getting back to Isabel: She was pretty nice to me just now but I could tell that she was eager to get back to work. She said the hardest part of writing is when it has not quite jelled and she does not yet know how it will turn out. I think that is pretty cool, really, but she hung up on me when I said “Ohhh cool, Isabel!” Just a click on the line and she was gone…

Meanwhile, the tribe is muddling through the graduation months ahead. There is much to be decided—colleges, dorms, going-away parties, proms! So many changes and so much tuition! In an n+1 essay entitled “Bad Education,” Malcolm Harris writes: “Since 1978, the price of tuition at US colleges has increased over 900 percent, 650 points above inflation…” Yeah, I am talking debt! Click here for more of this great and sobering article about education costs in America.

With six kids in the tribe headed off to college in the Fall, a big part of the decision-making is based on the financial aid packages being offered, seemingly more so than on which city or which school! It is tricky stuff.

What else is going on? Well, it is the Espiritu awards season; more about that in the weeks to come. Also, Isabel just read The Invisible Bridge by Julie Orringer. Here is what she says about it:

It is one of those epic novels that you never forget, a terrible saga of the Jewish-Hungarian Levy family during the Second World War and the Nazi occupation of their country. There’s a lot of suffering in these pages, but also love, courage, solidarity and, eventually, redemption. I couldn’t concentrate on my own writing; Julie Orringer’s characters took hold of me for two weeks. Don’t miss this book!

I have some photos of Isabel looking very sweet sitting at her dining room table with my poodle, Max, in her arms. (Let’s just ignore the fact that not only was the dog sitting on the table, he was sitting on the tablecloth!!) Unfortunately, however, here is what Isabel said when I asked if I could put the photos up on the blog: “I look terrible in those photos. Did you take them? You should not be allowed to own a camera or a phone.” (For the record, Nico, Isabel’s son, took the pictures!)

So here are some photos (sans Isabel) of Isabel’s friends. (She prefers dogs to people in almost every instance, except when it comes to Antonio Banderas and, possibly, Willie).

This is my little poodle, Max, the cutest and most friendly puppy in California. And this is a picture of Alvy, my other dog, whom Isabel prefers because he is rather ugly. She likes weird-looking creatures. And you know Olivia, of course, although I have to tell you that she hates the puppy. Personally, I think Olivia is a spoiled and selfish princess.

Isabel is reading one of her old novels for the very first time. She tells me she hates to do that—that she spends so much time and energy writing them that the last thing she wants is to read them after they are published. The reason she’s making an exception now is that on March 22 (that’s this week, people!), the Southern California city of Long Beach has dedicated a whole day to California history and to Isabel’s novel Zorro. Isabel will be on stage talking about the swashbuckling masked hero, and she says she can’t remember the story she wrote eight years ago.

I asked what she thinks about her book. She shrugged but I saw a sparkle in her eyes. I am sure she is loving it, but she would never admit it.

I have been listening to the Zorro audiobook (in English) in my car and recently pulled over to wait for the end of the chapter before heading the rest of the way home. Zorro is the perfect hero: handsome, athletic, brave, idealistic, and with a great sense of humor. He is just an all-round great guy, not one of those action heroes with special powers and an array of gadgets at his fingertips to use in massacring potential enemies. Plus, Zorro has a reputation for being a great lover! Wouldn’t any woman want him to climb her balcony at night with a red rose clenched between his teeth? And the next day there is no guilt, because she doesn’t even know his identity; he wore a mask. Perfect! (Good thing my husband never reads my blog.)

Hey, if you are in or around Long Beach, here is information about the Thursday evening event. Have fun!

Lori and Isabel have just returned from Mexico. They came back on a United Airlines flight that left them disgusted with the service and the rude behavior of the flight attendants. (United, you already got our letters!) Well, the damage is done, but the good news is they were certainly treated like royalty by the Mexican people. In Mexico City Isabel gave a presentation, organized by the National Council for Culture and Arts, at Palacio de Bellas Artes, one of the most beautiful buildings in the country. A large illuminated Tiffany’s screen was the backdrop for the stage where Isabel spoke about women’s issues to a packed theater. Lori said that when Isabel came out after finishing her speech the people were screaming for her, like she was one of The Beatles. Isabel and Lori tried to slip out the stage door but they were spotted and fans started running towards them. Security had to section them off and then hid Isabel and Lori in a secret room of the building until it was emptied. When they tried to leave out the garage exit in a darkened car, they were spotted again and enthusiastic readers pressed their books up against the car window. Isabel was moved to tears.

Isabel telling her story

the Tiffany screen that is the backdrop to the stage

the beautiful Palacio de Bellas Artes

The staff at the hotel worked hard to please the guests. If Lori or Isabel left some morsel uneaten on their plates, the chef would come out, worried they were unhappy. When Isabel didn’t eat the desert, the cook came out wearing his tall white hat and asked, very distressed, “What’s wrong with my panna cotta?” He was inconsolable when she replied that with less gelatin it would not bounce on the plate. It was so cute that at the office we have now adopted the question to confront each other when something goes wrong. Nothing but love for Mexico!

P.S. Lori said that Isabel fell several times but she blames the uneven pavement of the city and not her ridiculous platform shoes….AND Willie got an excellent review recently! You have to read it; here is a link. He gave me twenty bucks to add this to the blog. I sort of have a thing for Willie and would have mentioned it for free but hey, twenty bucks is twenty bucks!